being present...

2010 was a good year -- don't get me wrong -- but it came with its share of turmoil and stress. Adjusting to life as a working mommy wasn't easy (I'm still figuring it out on a daily basis, it seems) and having a non-traditional set-up for both Ryan and I working from our home offices can be a challenge. Overall, parenthood has proved to bless us beyond what we could have imagined, but sometimes it feels as if the number of blessing directly correlate to lack of sleep.

So, as I reflect on 2010 and think about what I want to do differently in 2011, I've come to this conclusion: I want to be present. It's so easy to live life thinking about what we don't have -- the perfect figure, all our debt paid off, a clear direction for what the future holds, easy 9-to-5 jobs, 8 hours of sleep a night, all the storage space in the world, disposable income, etc.

For 2011, I don't want to always be looking to the future trying to get to a time when "life is exactly as I pictured it". I don't think that will ever exist. Instead, I want to focus on each day, each hour, each minute, each second -- and live each one fully. It sounds like a cliche, but it's true. I'm going to be defined by who God says I am, and not by where I live, what I look like, how I parent, where I work or how any of those scenarios "say" I should act.

I will be kind, always. Even when I don't feel like it and even if I've been wronged. I want to live a life of humility. I don't always have to be great in the eyes of others. I only have to be great in the eyes of those who matter -- and their criteria is often far different from the eyes of "others".